Love Out Of The Box

This phrase popped up in my head yesterday as I was thinking about two of my friends and what I want from them. Though as it stands, it seem that I’m asking for the impossible ‘cos one of them respects his ego more than his feelings while the other follows her emotions most times as it seem to her that her feelings are being toyed with, coupled with the negative signal the guys egoistic behaviour keep sending to her emotional box. This makes it a complex puzzle-like situation which needs patience, a lot of listening and observing, not only from both parties but from their friends also.

One thing I have noticed is that we all seem to have at least one relationship of this kind. By relationship, I mean friendship cos aside blood relations, friendship is the basis of all other relationships and in fact, it also dictates how well you will relate and deal with your blood relations.

Do you think our ego, our pride and self-centeredness are meant to take center stage in our relationships? Or do you feel we have to love people based on how they express their love for us? Or do you think we have to set a standard of how we love people so as not to get hurt?

When God gave us the commandment “Love your neighbour as yourself”, I believe he was actually instructing us to love ourselves. Its impossible to give out what you don’t have. No matter how much you squeeze or chew a bitter leaf, you cannot get a sweet-like honey taste from it. The bitter leaf won’t give you that taste cos it does not have it.

In the same way, we cannot love others if we don’t love ourselves. The instruction is love yourself first and then transfer that kind of love you have for yourself to all those around you.

The phrase, ‘Love out of the box’ was coined from ‘Think out of the box’ and by thinking out of the box, we are simply letting go of all the restrictions and limitations around whatever issues or things we are thinking of and trying to get a solution by bringing in ideas no one in that situation will normally think of.

In same light, we have to love out of the box. Loving out of the box means we don’t have to confine the love we have for others within the four walls of how they make us feel. We have to get rid of the negative feelings we have towards them and instead treat them same way we want them to treat us which should be same way we will also treat ourselves.

I believe Jesus was instructing us to Love out of the box in John 13:34 when he said

“And now, I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

In Romans 12:20 when Apostle Paul said

“instead, as the scripture says, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them a drink for by doing this, you will make them burn with shame.”

This scripture is also saying, your love should be from out of the box and not within the box others love you from. Don’t prepare nor serve them your love with same ingredients they have served you with, rather give them the kind of love they won’t expect to get in return from you, the kind of love that brings smiles to the face and joy to the heart, for only by that will their conscience make them realise what they have done wrong and feel bad about it.

In 1 John 4:18, we were made to understand that

“there’s no love in fear, perfect love drives out fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment.”

Love out of the box and not based on the worlds standard. The worlds standard is in a box, it has restrictions and jealousy in it but Gods standard is in his word, “it (Love) never gives up; its faith, hope and patience that never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7).


I challenge you all to love out of the box and make the world a better place.