Pretence and Faith

Back in the days, I used to struggle with faith. Then, I used to work with reality, I say things the way they are and not the way I want them to be.

I always find myself asking this question, why do I have to behave as if something is when I know and it is certainly obvious to others that it’s not. Acting in faith used to be like a kind of pretence to me and I never wanted to engage in it (cos pretence will lead to lying and lying will lead to stealing and stealing will lead to killing and ultimately, pretence will lead to hellfire).

I never wanted that.

My belief system was directly connected to the story of Dele Giwa and his popular quote that says

“I will rather die than fail to tell the truth and sell my conscience”

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This belief system built me, left me with no friends but yet, when people want to know exactly what happened, they always ask me. I was popular for saying things the way they are without hiding anything.

There was really nothing bad in this belief system, saying the truth always is one of the path to inner peace but I over acted on it. I allowed it to cloud my faith that I never believed in true faith, I never acted like I’ve got all I asked for in prayer until it becomes a reality which most times, I won’t even realise that I’ve gotten it until its gone.

Then one day, someone asked me, why do you behave the way you do? You sometimes talk like you’ve got no faith, you don’t see things change until they actually do. Don’t you think it’s dangerous to be a Christian and not see things change in faith?

Like most people will, I defended myself and stood my ground of always saying the truth, the way they are (in plain words) and saying things the way they are but deep inside of me, I knew I was being told the truth.

It occurred to me that when Jesus fed the 5,000 men with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes, the bread and the fish didn’t multiply instantly, but he gave them (the 5 loaves and 2 fishes) to his disciples to go ahead and feed the crowd (which they did in faith) and it was in the process of feeding the crowd that the increase came.

This means that for the miracle of feeding the 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes to happen, the disciples had to act in faith by going ahead to feed the crowd.

This lead me into studying the new testament, reading about Jesus, then it occurred to me that as opposed to my meaning of faith, faith never meant pretence but faith means acting in belief that God is capable of meeting me at the point of my needs and he will answer me whenever I call.

Faith means never giving up nor giving in into the reality of today but keeping your eyes focused on the goal that you are working towards and never relenting in your effort to achieve them ‘cos if you focus on what it is rather that what will be, you will be discouraged and made to believe that your efforts are fruitless.

PS:

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he  is  a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. ~ James 1:6-8 (NKJV)

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